Drumph: Presidential Dating Simulator is a comedy based Visual Novel in where we play as a White House intern called Larry Lopez. After having his background checked, Larry discovers that he is not a US citizen and is now facing deportation. He has a plan though, a daring plan to try to win the heart of the president, marry him, and get that green card at any cost. You’d think that such a plan would quickly fail, but nope, Drumph amused with this situation gives us a total of three dates to win him over or be deported straight into the sun.
One thing to note about this game right off the bat is that its humor does not take a neutral tone. It is generally really mean-spirited to Trump, who this is obviously a parody of. Regardless of that, there are some good gags that are likely to at least get a smile out of you, whichever end of the political spectrum you fall on. The three dates you’ll be taking the president on are interesting, to say the least, and with Trump’s eccentric personality, you never know what the next moment may contain.
All throughout the game, you’ll continuously be forced into making a surprisingly large amount of choices to try to woo Drumph or simply to survive. Many of the options are superficial and don’t affect anything, though a few may be the end of you or lead to one of the two endings. The most disturbing part of this situation is that for all this game’s memery and rants about baby hands, Drumph does actually start to become a character you come to care about. It is a disconcertingly sweet relation both Larry and the president begin to build.
The peculiar artstyle this title has elevates the bizarre, fever dream like atmosphere of everything going on. There is a good amount of CGs peppered throughout your journey, ranging from Drumph about to prank North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, or simply his soul searingly detailed ‘intimate’ moments with Larry. It is telling that the few sound effects this game has are almost entirely moaning and slurping noises. There is no full-frontal nudity, but what is found here is in no way safe for work.
Aside from Trump and Larry, there are few other characters to be found. Most prominent among the side characters is Larry’s mom. She is what I consider to be the star of the show as her unrestrained, blunt way of saying things is always worth a good giggle. The entire cast are a bunch of degenerates whose over-the-top nature for some reason got me nostalgic for the Newsground days of flash videos/games. This title has a very similar vibe to the glorious nonsense you would find randomly searching that site.
It is a shame there is no voice acting. A bad Drumpth impression would have done a lot to amplify the humor. That being said, it is far too reliant on Trump-bashing for its comedy. More variety to the humor would have gone a long way or at least shining the spotlight off of Drumph a bit to avoid becoming quickly desensitized. It is a three-dollar game with the playtime of approximately an hour, so it is no surprise that it has a limited time-frame to pull off a comedic romance and wants to get right into the heart of the matter. Regardless, it is much too repetitive and could have used a bit of downtime to build up the characters before returning to the nonstop barrage of Trump-bashing.
Replay value is rather low as the choice that makes up which ending you receive is the very last one, and all others either lead to the same thing or kill you on the spot. Still, I can’t say a regret having experienced Drumph: Presidential Dating Simulator. It certainly was an unforgettable adventure in trying to woo the President of the United States of America and in your attempt to get your green card, possibly falling for him as well. Will you make Drumph the happiest man on earth by staying by his side, or will you break his heart the moment you get what you want? Enjoy their antics and unbreakable bond, or find yourself being shot out of the solar system? All this and more await you should you seek to join me in abandoning some brain cells and playing this dating sim containing a waifu unlike any other.
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