Candice Debebe’s Scandalous Secrets is a 2D action platformer that once again takes us back into the much beloved Debebe universe full of bizarre British humor and strangely lovable characters. This time around, we start off as a “magical bitch” named Sebodore, dead set in leaving his boring village in search of adventure. That opportunity soon arises as Brandi becomes a giant floating head due to old age, and now unable to attend to her tan-van, kicks off a chain of events that will see the world face its greatest dangers yet.
You really need to have played the last game, Candice Debebe’s Incredibly Trick Lifestyle, to make any sense of this deep lore. Joking aside, it is admirable how closely it does actually stick to its lore, despite how friggin weird and nonsensical it all was. Nearly all of your favorite characters will be making a return. It really is quite interesting to see how they’ve progressed after the 20 years since the original title’s plot took place. That doesn’t mean it has gotten predictable however. This title is even weirder than the first, which is quite the mean feat since I considered that one to be the holy grail of strangeness.
One of the first things you will notice upon booting it up is the change in artstyle. While the characters themselves are still 3D models, the environments are now 2D. It also has this bizarre filter on it that slightly blurs the image and distorts the colors, giving it a dream-like effect. A fever dream that is, there is some seriously weird backgrounds and imagery. It’s barely the third paragraph, and I feel like I’ve far overused the words weird and bizarre already. As is to be expected of the Candice Debebe franchise, because this is some of the most brain-numbing, perception-altering, unfiltered forms of madness to ever take its twisted form into that of a video game. In the good kind of way of course.
This switch into 2D wasn’t just an artistic choice. All of the game-play now takes place on that plane, changing things up from its previous twin-stick shooter roots. There is now platforming, wall jumping, and more structure to the levels. The thing is, one of the first impressions it gives of it is terrible. Early into the game, you will encounter a house filled with ‘sexy ghosts’ that you must clear out. These monsters can fly through walls and instantly make a very rapid b-line towards you. Once they reach you, it is over as they stick to you like glue, doing huge amounts of damage unless you manage to kill them quickly. Worse still is the terrible respawn point placement and the fact that all the enemies will also respawn alongside you. That leads to incredibly cheap situations.
It is far more challenging than the original title, though that challenge isn’t derived via a good way. Most of it feels really unfair or tedious. There are stealth sections, most enemy projectiles shoot through walls, and the AI really takes advantage of the fact that touching them damages you. Your attacks are pretty weak, making killing any foe take a while. As you may imagine, that doesn’t gel well with AI that rushes towards you and others that sit back shooting through walls where you can’t destroy them. The more of them you take down, the more you level up. Your attacks don’t get any stronger, though you will receive some more overall health, letting you tank more damage.
There are some moments when the gameplay works fine and I can see what they were going for, but the end result makes it worse than the very basic combat featured in the original. An interesting new feature is the ability to switch characters on the fly. At a certain section in the game, you’ll have the chance of playing through four different storylines and once you complete them all, that system is unlocked. It comes a bit late into the title and the way it is handled is kind of annoying due to common enemies suddenly being immune to some attacks, forcing you to swap out. This system just comes into play far too late, making it feel contrived.
Each of the four characters does play differently. There was clear effort put into it. One character only has a melee attack and the ability to reflect projectiles, another can shoot through walls, while a certain person can only do damage by jumping on their foes. That last one feels the worst of all due to how janky the physics are and is a useless addition when the character swapping system comes into play. That sucks considering she is one of the most charming people that make up the world of Candice Debebe.
Where the game shines, is the same place that it did in the original. The characters and dialogue. A good portion of your time will be spent chatting away with a plethora of odd individuals. Most of which are all voiced by a single person, the same award deserving actor from the first, who thankfully has a better mic this time. Both returning and new characters are really quite brilliant, as well as memorable. From Marlon who couldn’t even read last time we met him becoming a doctor, to the ever narcissistic Sebedore. A lot of these callbacks and references will be completely lost on those that didn’t play the first. I’d recommend giving that one a shot before considering this sequel.
The original had songs about having intercourse with mermaids and an epic rap battle, so this has quite the legacy to live up to. I’m happy to report that the music is just as catchy and darned weird as ever. They also seem to have just discovered auto-tone because songs are chock full of it now. If anything, you really should take a gander at the official Candice Debebe Soundcloud. Most of the songs play at appropriate instances in the game, though listening to them on their own will still make you smile. Or maybe that’s just the last of my sanity slipping away after playing both of the Debebe games back to back and actually trying to make sense of it for these reviews.
As briefly mentioned before, this title is far more structured now. Previously, you were pretty much let loose to explore a large open world. It is a far more guided and story focused affair now. This is ultimately a good thing as you have four characters, all with their unique perspectives to juggle around. Later into the game, you will be let loose and even receive your own airship to travel around the over-world. I also find the story to be more interesting, albeit still completely bonkers. Yesterday’s foes become today’s friends, sudden betrayals, and other shocking twists will lead you on a wild emotional ride. Mostly as you try to determine if someone slipped some drugs into your drink or if this game is some kind of covert UK experimental weapon.
All told, Candice Debebe’s Scandalous Secrets has had an impressive amount of effort put into it. It was not content just making more of the same and instead changed up a lot of its key features, chief among these being the gameplay. That sadly turned out to be a mistake as while combat has more to it than the original, it takes up a far bigger percentage of your time and isn’t all that fun due to numerous flaws. Its predecessor wasn’t fun either, though engagements were quickly ended and easy, allowing you to promptly move along to the entertaining parts. Still, it is certainly worth trudging through for Candice Debebe fans and one should start with the first regardless. If you find that you enjoy that, then make your way up to this title and join me in awaiting a third entry. Welcome to the cult club.
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