Anime Girls Loot Box Simulator is the hypest new game on the market that seeks to revolutionize our lootbox opening experience by adding in lewd 2D waifus as rewards. Now I’m sure a lot of you are off to add this to your Steam cart already, but hold on there and read this review too, I need to make a living OwO. Joking aside, by the name of this game’s title that reads more like a crummy blogger desperately trying to up his SEO rankings, you may have guessed this isn’t a very enjoyable experience.
Our overall goal is to collect 100 hearts (currency) to be able to afford a single lootbox and continue doing so until we unlock all the artwork. As you can tell from that pic up there, you will be getting a ton of dupes every draw. There simply isn’t a substantial amount of art here. Nowhere near enough to support this type of game. In total, you’ll find there are slightly over a dozen pictures. The rest is simply a few variant cutouts of a girl in different degrees of clothing.
The lootbox animation also fails to capture any sort of excitement or wonder when opening. This is a critical aspect that companies that don’t respect their customers enough to not have lootboxes in them simply can not fail at. Instead of being a grand event, opening one here triggers about the same levels of ‘pride and accomplishment’ as opening up an eviction notice. At least here you are using virtual currency, but you are still paying three buckaroos for a title with less content than a free Google search for Ronald Mcdonald x Hatsune Miku hentai will get you.
I’m all for meme games, yet there has to be an actual game in it. What consists of “gameplay” here is choosing from four random options to possibly gain or lose money. It can be entertaining reading the dumb things you can do, though you will quickly see all of them. Even in this department, it lacks content. Once you’ve seen them all, there is nothing left to do aside from clicking on the ones you know make money until you have enough for more lootboxes. And then wait for the underwhelming, far too slow opening animations to play out in the hopes of gaining one of the undiscovered pics instead of more dupes.
About that Miku getting the ol Double Pounder with extra sauce comment of mine a paragraph or so back, don’t get the wrong idea. This is not a hentai title. It is about as PG as glancing at a magazine shelf while walking out of a supermarket. Probably even less lewd actually, that picture of the Doom Slayer in his new sleeveless armor is getting me all kinds of… wait, where were we? Ah yes, the random sketchy Steam title of the week to further cram this website full of questionable content. It’s not good.
The main selling point here is the artwork. It is not bad, yet many of the dozen or so pictures share too many similarities. From the design of some girls, the same background constantly used, and some being exactly the same minus a bit less clothing. The ones that are actually unique are around half of their total amount. Another flaw is that there is no consistency. Some girls may show up again with less clothing, others won’t, and so on. It just feels like a random mishmash of images. Don’t get me started on how poorly laid out the images are in the Gallery mode. You can only see one at a time and it doesn’t have any rhyme or reason to their placements either.
I managed to collect everything on offer in under thirty minutes, even with my insanely bad luck when it comes to dupes. It was enjoyable for a few minutes to read the bizarre options and making money with means such as selling your soul or starting a relationship with your right hand. The fact that it lasted half an hour was its downfall. There is not enough content for that length of an experience and quickly turned into a soul-draining drudge. Also its downfall is its price. Sure for what it’s worth I enjoyed this more than the worst-rated game on this website, Starlight. At over three times its price though? Just no, I rank it just as bad due to that. Anime Girls Loot Box Simulator left me feeling quite hollow by the time I was through with it. So yeah, an accurate simulation of the real deal.
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